


Raydor's Rules

by CylonRaydor



Category: Major Crimes, The Closer
Genre: F/F, Gen, Mothership - Freeform
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-07-07
Updated: 2014-07-07
Packaged: 2018-02-07 21:00:34
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 9,061
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1913655
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/CylonRaydor/pseuds/CylonRaydor
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>When Brenda and Rusty clash, Sharon suggests an unconventional method for dealing with their mutual irritation. Silliness ensues.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Raydor's Rules

**Author's Note:**

> **Prompt:** 60- Brenda moves in and she and Rusty immediately clash.  
>  **Disclaimer:** Not mine, please don’t sue!  
>  **Author’s Note:** This one’s a mix of drama, silliness and romance, with a little bonus mothership (who doesn’t love Sharon and Rusty?). I wouldn’t say I’ve nailed it in terms of characterisation, but I wanted to try something different and fun. I’d love to hear what you think!
> 
> This one is a sequel to 'You Think You Can Bribe Me With Burgers?'

Brenda closes the door to Sharon’s condo with her foot, looking around before placing the large packing box down on the floor in the entryway. Sharon had asked her to move in, and she has finally managed to terminate her own lease and move the last of her things to Sharon’s- no _their_ place. While Sharon had helped Brenda move most of her things, Brenda had been forced to do the last of it on her own when the Captain had been called in to work at the last minute earlier that morning.

“Was that the last one?” Sharon asks, walking past Rusty who is sitting playing video games on the couch. Apparently a high speed car chase through an animated version of the streets of Tokyo is infinitely more interesting than helping _Brenda_ move her things.

Brenda nods and sighs. “Yep, that’s it,” she tells her. “I’m glad I don’t have much stuff; I guess growin’ up a military brat has its advantages,” she grins.

“Maybe if you didn’t keep getting divorced and U-Hauling it wouldn’t be such a big deal,” Rusty mutters from the couch. 

Brenda frowns slightly and looks up at Sharon, who has decided the best course of action is to ignore him- Rusty knows the behaviour is inappropriate and responding is only going to reward him by giving him the attention he is clearly after. She shakes her head slightly then kisses Brenda’s lips, giving her arm a reassuring squeeze. “You look exhausted. Can I get you a cold drink?”

“That would be wonderful. Thank you,” Brenda smiles. When Sharon moves to leave she walks over and sits quietly on one of the armchairs near Rusty.

“What’d your last slave die of?” he asks as he mashes the buttons on his controller. 

Brenda bristles slightly and ignores him. She has no idea what’s gotten into Rusty; Sharon assured her that he had said he was okay with her moving in, and they used to get along so well. Since she started moving boxes, though, his attitude has become increasingly hostile. The bad behaviour was initially behind Sharon’s back and fairly infrequent, but the closer it got to moving day the more outwardly hostile he became. Brenda really hopes he is just taking out his frustration at his latest teenage drama on her, and that this is something that will short-lived.

The blonde gets up and joins her girlfriend in the kitchen, accepting the glass with a ‘thank you’. “Is it okay if I shower and lie down for a little while?” she requests. “I’m pretty beat.” Truthfully, while she is tired and sore, she just wants a short reprieve from Rusty’s sassiness. _‘This will blow over.’_ she tells herself. 

“Brenda, you don’t have to ask,” Sharon reminds her. “This is your home now. You can do whatever you’d like to do, whenever you would like to do it.”

Brenda gives Sharon a nod of acknowledgment. “Well, I guess I should…” she says, gesturing over her shoulder towards the bathroom, a little bead of condensation from the glass making its way down her other hand.

Sharon nods and touches Brenda’s arm. “I’m glad you’re here,” she tells her sincerely, moving her hand up to Brenda’s arm and gently massaging where her neck and shoulder meet. “Would you like for me to come and give you a rub down after your shower?”

Brenda opens her mouth to reply then glances back at Rusty. Surely a massage while he’s home is going to be awkward. She can’t decide what would be worse; Sharon rubbing her shoulders in the living room in front of him, or whatever Rusty would assume they were doing if they kept it in the bedroom. She realises, reluctantly, that she’s going to have to grow up and get over it now that she and Sharon are living together full time. She may not be used to living with a ‘kid’, but she’ll have to work it out. “Maybe later tonight,” Brenda tells her. “Thank you, though.”

Sharon nods and squeezes the muscle once more before trailing her hand down the blonde’s arm and letting her go. She hopes things settle down soon and her girlfriend and foster son start to get along again.

*****

It’s Thursday at 3.30pm and Brenda has been under the same roof as Rusty and enduring his attitude for 4 days, 13 hours and 24 minutes. His comments are almost never made in front of Sharon and Brenda prefers it that way; she is concerned that if Sharon finds out exactly how severe the friction between them is becoming she may ask her to leave.

The blonde lets herself into the condo, juggling her oversized black handbag and a paper bag full of groceries, coming to a complete stop when she steps into the living room and catches Rusty making out with- well, she’s not sure who he’s with, to be honest. Brenda has certainly never seen him before. “Oh!” she says, hugging the groceries to her chest with one hand and covering her eyes with the other. “Sorry! Sorry!” she says, backing out of the room, her cheeks burning red.

“Brenda! What are you doing here?!” Rusty asks her, clearly irritated. He sits up and smooths his hair out, shooting his companion a look as the other man pulls his shirt back down over his stomach.

“I… I live here,” Brenda stammers, keeping her eyes covered. “I didn’t see anything’.”

“Aren’t you meant to be at work?” he asks, checking his watch to make sure he hasn’t just lost track of time.

“I took the afternoon off so I could make you somethin’ nice for dinner,” she tells him, dropping the hand from her eyes. “I thought you might like my special burgers.”

“Well maybe you should learn to knock,” Rusty tells her, standing and grabbing his friend by the hand, leading the other young man out of the living room and towards his bedroom.

Brenda hesitates. She’s sure Sharon wouldn’t approve of Rusty being unaccompanied in his bedroom with someone he’s clearly involved with, regardless of what Rusty has- or hasn’t- done in the past. “Umm… Rusty?” she says hesitantly, following the teenagers up the hall.

“What?” Rusty asks, turning to glare at her.  “I don’t think Sharon would want you to-“

“Well Sharon isn’t here right now, is she?” Rusty challenges her. “You’re not my mum, okay? Leave us alone.”

Brenda looks at Rusty helplessly. She and Sharon really haven’t discussed what’s supposed to happen if she finds herself in a situation like this. Their agreement had been that Sharon will deal with discipline and most of the parental decisions, and if it’s something that affects them as a family then she will discuss it with Brenda. Unsurprisingly they haven’t had the ‘walking in on your lesbian lover’s teenaged ex-prostitute foster son fooling around with his unidentified male companion’ conversation. She’s starting to wish they had. 

Rusty’s friend glances at Rusty then at Brenda. “I should go,” he tells Rusty. “This is getting kinda awkward.”

“No, hang on, it’s fine,” Rusty tries to argue as the other young man shakes his head and makes his way towards the door, picking up his bag on the way.

“Later, Rusty,” he tells him before letting himself out.

Rusty makes a frustrated noise as he watches the door close behind his friend. “See what you’ve done now? Thanks a lot, Brenda. Thank you _so_ much.” The teenager turns and flounces into his bedroom, slamming the door hard enough to rattle the pictures on the wall.

Brenda jumps a little and brings her hands up to her face quickly, waving them a little in surprise. She takes a moment to regain her composure before adjusting her glasses and lowering her hands again. “That went well,” she mumbles sarcastically before turning and making her way into the kitchen. She may as well cook dinner anyway; it’s Rusty’s turn, but she had planned to help him out by doing it for him and she’s already got the ingredients. She’s hoping she can win him over with burgers.

After an hour or two of hard work Brenda has managed to form the patties for the burgers using the family recipe she had grown up with, cut up the salads and other toppings and roast some bell peppers to blitz in with mayonnaise as a sauce. She has also- and this is what she needed the extra time for- cleaned the grill and made sure it was ready to use. As soon as Sharon steps through the door she can fire it up and they’ll be eating in no time. She sits down with a hard-earned glass of merlot and puts the television on to watch the news.

Sharon comes in later that evening, still in her fitted black dress and blazer from work. “Brenda? Rusty?” she calls out, smiling when she sees her girlfriend making herself at home in the living room. “I could get used to coming home to this,” she says, juggling her bags and walking over to kiss her hello.

Brenda reaches up to cup her cheek, pulling her down for a slightly longer kiss, her tongue sneaking out to briefly play with her lover’s. “Mmm… How was work?”

“Work was good,” Sharon replies, her body humming pleasantly from the kiss. “Have you been home long? Where’s Rusty?” she asks as she straightens up.

 “In his room,” Brenda tells her, sipping her wine. It’s then she notices the In-N-Out bag in Sharon’s hand. She looks away, taking a few gulps of her merlot. What is she supposed to do now? The kitchen is all set up with the ingredients for dinner laid out.

Sharon raises an eyebrow but doesn’t call Brenda on her faster than usual alcohol intake. “Can you tell him dinner’s here? I sent him a text as I was leaving so he’s expecting it- I thought I’d give him a night off from cooking,” she says as she walks into the kitchen. The brunette looks around and stops dead in her tracks. Well. This is awkward.

“Oh,” she says quietly, turning to look back at Brenda.

“It’s alright,” Brenda says, getting up and quickly making her way into the kitchen. She avoids eye contact as she starts packing their dinner things away. “It’s nothin’. It’ll keep,” she tells her.

“That doesn’t look like nothing,” Sharon argues. “Did you make those? And what’s this?” she asks, dipping her finger in the roasted pepper mayonnaise and tasting it. “That’s delicious!” her eyebrows shoot up in surprise and she nods her approval as she dips her finger in again for another taste. “You made that?”

“Really, it’s nothin’,” Brenda insists, trying not to be offended that Sharon sounds surprised it’s not awful. The brunette going on about it is only making her more embarrassed. She covers the mayonnaise then packs it in the refrigerator along with the salads.

Sharon glances down at the bag. “I don’t understand. I asked Rusty if he wanted burgers for dinner and he said yes.”

“I’m sure it was just a silly little misunderstanding,” Brenda says, trying to brush it off. She knows full well that Rusty has played on Sharon’s choice of words. “I’ll get plates if you want to let him know you’re home.” She’d really rather not do that herself right now.

Sharon nods, feeling truly awful about ruining Brenda’s efforts to do something nice for them. She sets the bag down and walks off to get Rusty, not wanting to make a fuss when Brenda is clearly trying to hide her disappointment.

Dinner is a quiet affair. Brenda tries to avoid Sharon’s looks- a mix of sympathy and guilt, while Rusty chews happily on his food, feeling very much like he’s had a small victory. Not only has he managed to irritate Brenda, he’s also succeeded in stopping them from talking. If he keeps going he is confident he can have the blonde out within a month.

 “I bet you’re looking forward to telling Sharon you walked in on me with Mitchell this afternoon,” Rusty says as he loads the dishwasher after their meal. Sharon has gone into the bedroom to change and Brenda is stuck alone with him.

Brenda pulls her cardigan closed in a self-conscious gesture, re-fastening the tie that prevents it from falling open again. “You weren’t doing anything improper,” she tells him. “I don’t see a reason to mention it right now.” What would she say, anyway? That she saw Rusty kissing someone and then the boy left? She thinks she’s better off using this as a way of earning Rusty’s trust and trying to work towards improving their relationship. 

“So are you doing that because you want to hold it over me or because you want to keep secrets from Sharon?” Rusty asks her as he puts the last of the dinner dishes in the dishwasher.

Brenda rolls her eyes. There is no winning with this boy! “I’m going to bed,” she mutters quietly. She has had more than enough for one evening and if she can just get away she is sure she will be in a better frame of mind to deal with his attitude tomorrow. It hasn't escaped her notice that she has been using wanting to ‘go to bed’ or ‘lay down for a little while’ as ways to avoid conflict with Rusty since she moved in.

The blonde walks into the master bedroom, closing the door quietly behind her and taking her cardigan off.   “Brenda are you alright, honey?” Sharon asks her as she pulls a comfortable cotton t-shirt on over her lacy orchid coloured bra, taking in her slumped shoulders and the defeated look on her face. She can tell her girlfriend isn’t herself right now. “I’m sorry about dinner.”  

“I don’t wanna talk about it,” Brenda tells Sharon, trying not to sound too snippy. “I’m tired, I’m going to bed.”

  “It’s only 7.30,” Sharon tells her.

  “Well thank goodness you’re here to tell me the time, I couldn’t possibly have managed to look at a clock and figure out all those complicated numbers on my lonesome,” Brenda snaps back sarcastically.

Sharon frowns and watches as Brenda pulls her clothes off, dumping them in a pile next to the bed before fishing out her tank top and shorts. She opens her mouth to speak and then decides that perhaps she’s better off giving Brenda some space. The older woman leaves, quietly shutting the door behind her.

“Rusty, do you know what’s wrong with Brenda?” Sharon asks as she walks into the kitchen. She suspects Brenda’s recent mood has to do with the snide little comment Sharon has caught coming from Rusty here and there, but she doesn’t have any proof.

Rusty shakes his head and hands Sharon a bowl of ice cream and a spoon before picking up the same for himself. “Nope. I think she’s upset about dinner. She’s being kinda immature about the whole thing.”

Sharon accepts the bowl and the spoon then sits down at the kitchen table to eat, pursing her lips slightly as she considers how unlike herself Brenda has been these past few days. She thought living together would make Brenda happy, but so far her girlfriend just seems miserable.

“Do you wanna watch some TV or something?” Rusty asks hopefully, noticeably perkier than before Brenda had left the room. He digs his spoon into the ice cream and takes a large mouthful.

“Not tonight, Rusty.” Sharon runs her spoon over the top of the ice cream, gathering a small amount before sucking it thoughtfully off the spoon. “I think I should turn in early and spend some time with Brenda, I’m concerned about her.”

Rusty’s face falls and he looks down into his bowl. “She gets you all the time.”

“When is ‘all the time’?” Sharon asks. She understands that Rusty may be feeling a little jealous, but they also need to keep this in perspective. She is doing her best to spend time with both of them, and has been very careful to make sure that not only does Rusty not feel excluded, but he feels actively _in_ cluded in whatever they do. “Brenda has spent more time with you today than she’s spent with me. The two of you had the afternoon together and then we had dinner as a family.”

“Whatever,” Rusty grumbles, taking his bowl and heading towards the living room. 

“No eating on the couch!” Sharon calls after him, wondering how many more times she has to tell him that. She finishes her dessert then puts her bowl in the sink and goes back to the bedroom, slipping in quietly in case Brenda’s already asleep.

“Brenda?” she whispers as she creeps into the room. “Are you awake?”

“Yeah,” Brenda replies reluctantly, shifting to make room for Sharon when she feels her girlfriend get into bed behind her.

The brunette wraps her arm around Brenda and rests her chin on her shoulder. “Are you feeling okay, honey? You’re not quite yourself,” she says, choosing her words carefully.

Brenda nods. “I’m just tired. I’m sorry I snapped at you, you didn’t deserve that.”

“It’s okay,” Sharon smiles, kissing her shoulder. “We all get a little cranky sometimes.” She gives Brenda a gentle squeeze and kisses her shoulder. “Is there anything I can do?” 

Brenda shakes her head no. “It’ll blow over,” she tells the older woman. She really hopes it does.

*****

The next morning Brenda wakes up with Sharon’s arms around her and smiles a little. She’s not as upset about things with Rusty now, but she is still worried that Sharon might ask her to leave if she finds out the extent of the difficulties they’ve been having. It makes her feel vulnerable and needy, and Brenda responds to that the only way she really knows how, wiggling a little then rolling over in Sharon’s arms. Sensing the brunette is awake Brenda drapes an arm over her girlfriend and slides in closer. She waits a moment then brings her lips to the spot where Sharon’s neck meets her shoulder, kissing there and pressing her hips against her lover’s with clear intent.

“Mmm… Good morning,” Sharon mumbles, her hand finding its way to rest on her girlfriend’s side.

“Mornin’,” Brenda hums.

“How are you feeling this morning?” the older woman asks as Brenda’s hand sneaks under her t-shirt, only just realising that she had fallen asleep fully clothed. Brenda doesn’t respond, choosing instead to press her lips to Sharon’s and cup her breast through her bra.

Sharon mmms against Brenda’s lips and allows herself to be guided onto her back with Brenda’s leg between her thighs. The younger woman sits up and struggles to get Sharon’s shirt off her, her brow furrowed in concentration. Sharon sits up a little to cooperate, watching as Brenda tosses it aside along with her bra and instantly leans down to wrap her lips around one of the older woman’s nipples, running her tongue over it in a slow, circular motion. The brunette lets out a quiet, pleasure-filled hum.

One thing Sharon has picked up since they started spending the night together is that Brenda isn’t usually amorous in the morning. While it’s not unheard of, it’s something Sharon would certainly consider ‘rare’; Brenda is usually much more interested in pulling the covers up and trying to convince Sharon to snuggle with her while she dozes until the alarm goes off.

“Not that I’m complaining…” Sharon says as Brenda pushes up between her legs and presses the seam of her jeans against her underwear and, in turn, her clit. She groans. “But what’s gotten into you this morning?”

  “In a couple of minutes hopefully I can say you,” Brenda purrs seductively as she reaches down to undo Sharon’s jeans. “Do I really need an excuse to be with my girlfriend?” she asks, tugging the brunette’s pants off her and then making short work of her underwear. “I love you. You’re kind and funny and beautiful and smart. You’re powerful and sexy and you make me feel good. I want to spend the rest of my life with you. Is that enough?”

Sharon moans quietly at the words, feeling herself flush. As much as they’re affecting her, though, she knows something is going on and she can only handle living with one reticent individual at a time. She sighs softly then kisses Brenda, tangling her fingers in blonde curls as she rolls them over so she’s on top of the younger woman. “It’s enough,” she tells her. “But you’ve been acting strangely and I want to know what’s really going on with you.” She pauses to brush her lips gently against Brenda’s. “I love you and I love having sex with you, but I think we’re past the stage in our relationship where we do that instead of talking about our problems, don’t you?”

“Can’t we do both?” Brenda asks hopefully, batting her eyelashes.

Sharon fights the urge to roll her eyes at Brenda’s thinly-veiled attempt at manipulation. Does she really think that will work? “If I say yes you’re going to roll me over and then keep me on edge until we don’t have time to talk about it before work, then tonight you’ll brush it off. I know you, Brenda.”  

Brenda pouts.

  “I want you to be honest with me, Brenda Leigh.”

“I can’t distract you with my ample bosom?” she tries, arching her back just a hint to subtly push her chest forward.

Sharon laughs and cups Breda’s cheek, kissing her. “I love you- and your ample bosom. Whatever it is you can tell me.” She shifts and settles down next to Brenda, her thumb trailing lightly back and forth over the younger woman’s cheek.

Brenda takes a deep breath and lets it out. “I’m scared you’re gonna ask me to leave,” she admits reluctantly.

“Brenda! Why on earth would you think that?” Sharon seems genuinely surprised and a little hurt.

Brenda rolls onto her side to face Sharon, tucking one hand under her head. “Rusty doesn’t want me here.”

“Yes he does,” Sharon argues, frowning. She brings her hand up and tucks Brenda’s hair behind her ear. “He told me he does. You know I spoke to him before I asked you to move in.”

“We’ve been arguin’ behind your back,” Brenda admits quietly.

“I knew there were a few little comments, but… _Arguing_?”

  “Yeah.”

  “What about?” 

Brenda scrunches her nose up. “I’m a 40-somethin’ year old woman. I’m not going around tattlin’ on a teenage boy.”

“It’s not ‘tattling’ if you talk to your girlfriend about a problem you’re having, or that Rusty is having,” Sharon says diplomatically. “I’m not going to dish out punishments, I just want to help you. Both of you.”

Brenda’s dark brown eyes flash with mischief and Sharon rolls her green ones. “Get your mind out of the gutter, Brenda Leigh.”

Brenda pouts and kisses Sharon. “He’s just bein’ a teenager. Making snide little comments and messing with our dinner plans.”

“He knew about the burgers?” Sharon asks. When Brenda doesn’t respond Sharon sighs. She wishes she had known about this earlier. She rests her forehead against Brenda’s and closes her eyes, letting out a low hum as she considers the best way to approach this. “If Rusty’s bothering you, bother him right back,” she suggests. “You grew up with three brothers, surely you know how to hold your own until I can get him to open up about whatever it is that’s bothering him.”

Brenda raises an eyebrow. “You really want me to go there?”

“Why not?” Sharon asks. “You don’t have to be cruel, just have some fun. If nothing else it will make you feel better and maybe he’ll realise he can’t walk all over you.”

Brenda nods a little, feeling a tiny bit relieved; it sounds to her like Sharon is on her side, and that has to be a good sign for her not being asked to leave. 

Sharon pulls Brenda close and kisses her lips. “We need to get up so we can vacate the bathroom for Rusty to get ready. I don’t want to give him any more ammunition.”

“Save water, shower with a friend?” Brenda suggests, kissing Sharon back.

The older woman hums into the kiss and grins. She gets out of bed and backs towards the door, biting her bottom lip coyly. “What are you waiting for?” she asks Brenda. “Never let it be said I don’t do my bit for the environment.”

When Sharon eventually enters the kitchen Brenda has her coffee ready for her and is alternating between sipping out of her own mug and vigorously shaking the orange juice bottle. “Do I want to know?” she asks hesitantly, doing her best to ignore the way the shaking motion makes Brenda’s chest jiggle.

Brenda shakes her head and puts the bottle back in the refrigerator, smiling a little as Rusty joins them. “Morning Rusty,” she grins broadly.

“Good morning, Brenda,” he replies somewhat coolly, on his best behaviour since Sharon is in the room. He checks his watch then opens the fridge, pouring himself a large glass of juice before returning the bottle to its spot on the door. Sharon watches out of the corner of her eye, curious to see what happens as he takes a large gulp of the cold beverage, instantly spitting it out into the kitchen sink. “What the hell?!”

Brenda hides a grin behind her mug, sipping her coffee casually.  

“What’s wrong?” Sharon asks. What has Brenda done?

“Taste this,” he says, thrusting the hand containing the glass towards his foster mother.

Sharon takes the glass from Rusty and sniffs it before taking a tentative sip. It tastes like orange-flavoured sea water, but she drinks it down anyway and shrugs. “Tastes fine to me,” she tells him, glancing up at Brenda who is looking much happier and more relaxed now she feels like she has an ally.

Rusty scowls and walks off, going to pack his bag to go and play chess in the park. He’ll pick up some breakfast on the way.

“Brenda, what did you do!?” Sharon hisses quietly, gulping her coffee to wash down the juice.   

“Dissolved half a cup of salt in it,” she beams proudly. 

Sharon rolls her eyes, stepping closer to Brenda when the blonde tugs gently on her belt loops. “Do you feel better?” 

Brenda shrugs. “Maybe a little,” she admits, kissing Sharon softly. “Thank you for being on my side.”

“There’s no need to thank me,” Sharon tells her quietly. “As long as it’s harmless retaliation I’ll always have your back, Chief.”

“You haven’t called me that in a long time,” Brenda says, wrapping her arms around her girlfriend’s waist and resting her head on Sharon’s shoulder. “I miss it.”

Sharon gives Brenda a gentle squeeze. “I miss working with you,” she tells her, playing with the ends of Brenda’s hair. “But I wouldn’t trade a single moment of being Sharon and Brenda for a lifetime of being Chief Johnson and Captain Raydor. This is how we were meant to be. Just you and me.”

Brenda sighs contentedly. Maybe things are going to be okay after all.

That evening after an uneventful dinner Brenda makes herself scarce so Sharon can talk to Rusty, hoping to finally get to the bottom of what’s going on with him. “So…” the brunette says slowly, sitting down opposite her foster son where he has his chess board set up on the dining room table. “How was your day?”

Rusty looks over the pieces on the board, turning it ninety degrees before glancing up at Sharon. “Fine. Another kid around my age came to the park today, we played a couple of games. She’s not bad.”

“Well, that’s nice,” Sharon smiles. “Do you think you’ve made a new friend?”

  “Let’s not get carried away,” he says, studying the board intently.

“It would be nice to see you spend some more time with people your own age,” Sharon encourages him gently. “I think it’s important for you to form friendships with your peers.”

Rusty glances up at her then turns his attention back to the board. They’ve had this conversation before. “I’ll keep that in mind.”  

Sharon sips her chardonnay and watches him. “How’s everything else?” 

“Fine.”

“Is there anything you’d like to discuss with me?” Sharon tries casually.

Rusty hesitates for a second. Maybe Brenda spilled the beans on catching him with Mitchell. He takes a moment to consider how likely that is before shaking his head. “Nope. It’s all great. Awesome, in fact,” he tells her unconvincingly. 

“How are you finding Brenda being here?” she asks, trying to be a little more direct. She’s not stupid, she knows what’s going on, but she needs Rusty to be ready to talk to her about it before she can make it better.

“I’d be happier if she got rid of some of her boxes. There’s stuff everywhere.” He has become accustomed to living in Sharon’s spotless condo and the moving boxes really are bothering him. They are also a convenient way to sound like he’s being forthcoming with an answer without actually having to be forthcoming with an answer.

“I seem to recall you weren’t exactly tidy when you moved in,” Sharon reminds him. “But what you’re saying is fair,” Sharon agrees. “It’s been a little tough this week. I’ll help her get them tidied up tomorrow, okay?”

“ _Thank you_ ,” Rusty tells her. “It’s not _that_ hard to be tidy.”

Sharon hides a smirk and sips her wine again. “Anything else?”

  “Nope,” he tells her, finally moving a piece on the board. “All good.”

“Do you have some time? I’ll ‘let’ you win at Mario Kart,” Sharon offers. She may be supporting Brenda here, but she loves Rusty and enjoys time with him. There is no reason to be cruel, he is her son and he’s obviously going through something right now.

“You don’t have to spend time with Brenda?” he asks skeptically. 

Sharon smiles. “I’d like to spend some time with you.” 

*****

The days following Sharon and Rusty’s little chat and mother-son bonding time pass fairly peacefully. Sharon and Brenda sort out Brenda’s boxes as promised, and Rusty is generally respectful of Brenda, although neither woman would consider his attitude to be overly friendly. 

The following Wednesday Sharon is sitting in her office when she receives an email from Brenda. She opens the message, titled ‘pictures from last night’ to view some of the photographs taken at the DA’s Office dinner they had attended together. She smiles as she scrolls through the attached pictures, laughing when she gets to the email signature at the bottom. She picks up the phone and calls her girlfriend.

“Chief Johnson,” Brenda answers her phone, holding it between her ear and her shoulder while she types.

“Oh, it’s Chief again now, is it?” Sharon asks, clearly amused.

“What do you mean?” Brenda asks, abandoning the document she’s working on. “Did you get my email?”

  “I did indeed get an email,” Sharon confirms. “I can’t decide if it’s funny or sexy.”

“Can’t decide if what’s funny or sexy?” Brenda asks, pulling out her phone to look at her sent items and make sure she sent Sharon the right thing.

  “HBIC Johnson,” Sharon smirks.   

“H-what?” Brenda asks.

“Head Bitch In Charge?”

“I didn’t write that.”

“Of course you wrote it,” Sharon argues. “It was in your email signature.”

Brenda opens up the email and her eyes widen in horror. “I did _not_ do that,” she tells Sharon.

Sharon suddenly has a bad feeling about this. “You didn’t?”

“No. Look,” she says, despite Sharon not being able to see over the phone line. She opens a blank email on her phone and puts Sharon’s name in the address box before typing ‘hello’, followed by ‘Chief’, which automatically corrects to ‘HBIC’. She furrows her brow and starts again, yielding the same result. “What on earth?” she frowns. “There’s somethin’ wrong with my phone. Every time I go to type ‘Chief’ it changes,” she says frustratedly. She hates technology!

Sharon’s eyes widen. “Oh dear… How many people have you emailed from your phone this morning?” she asks. 

“You, Hobbs and my PA. Why?” Brenda enquires, growing nervous.

“I think someone may have made some… adjustments to your phone.”

Brenda’s eyes widen. “Rusty!” 

The blonde refrains from using her phone to email for the rest of the day, waiting for Sharon to fix it for her when she arrives home from work that night. Neither of them let on to Rusty that they have realised his little ‘modifications’, but Brenda has Sharon put a passcode on her phone so he can’t do it again. Her eyes narrow slightly as she watches him at dinner that evening. This calls for some serious revenge.

*****

The next afternoon Rusty arrives home from the park and sits down in front of the television. Brenda hasn’t mentioned anything being wrong with her phone, and he finds it pretty funny that she is probably emailing half of the DA’s office with ‘HBIC Johnson’ written at the bottom of the message. He toes his shoes off and puts his feet up on the couch, taking advantage of the fact that Sharon isn’t here to monitor him. Turning the tv on he settles in to watch ‘Orphan Black’, picking up his phone when he gets a text and rolling his eyes when he sees it’s from Brenda. 

_‘Left a bowl of nuts on coffee table. Please don’t eat them.’_

Rusty glances at the coffee table. There is, indeed, a small bowl of nuts on it. 

_‘I’m serious, Rusty.’_ Brenda follows up before he can reply.

Rusty looks at the nuts. “What if I didn’t get the message?” he asks out loud, picking up the bowl. Sharon isn’t here to hassle him about eating on the couch… He tips the nuts out into the palm of his hand; it can’t be more than a dozen, so he shrugs, shoving them into his mouth. He chews and swallows before texting Brenda a picture of the empty bowl.

 _‘Sorry. Too late,’_ he writes with a smirk. They’re nuts, she can get more. 

A minute later Rusty receives another message from Brenda. 

“God, who taught you how to send a video?” he asks, touching the play button and watching as it pops up full screen. 

Brenda is sitting happily at the kitchen counter with something in her mouth. He sees her bring her hand to her lips and take whatever it is out before her hand disappears off-screen. She picks something else up then and repeats the process, sucking then removing it from her mouth. Rusty frowns and squints. “Is that…? No!” 

He gets up and runs into the bathroom, spitting a few times then picking up his toothbrush to brush his teeth. He can’t believe it. When he has finished brushing his teeth and using mouthwash he goes back and watches the video again, barely able to bring himself to keep his eyes on the screen. Yes, it’s true; Brenda’s almonds were once chocolate-coated.

Feeling a little sick to his stomach, Rusty gets himself a drink and tries not to think about what he’s had in his mouth. He picks up his phone and texts Sharon.

 _‘Your girlfriend is disgusting. Look what she just made me eat.’_ He attaches the video for good measure.

When Sharon receives the text she opens the video then laughs. She sets her phone down and picks up the landline, dialling Rusty’s number and trying to remove the smile from her face so he won’t hear it in her voice.

“Sharon, I can’t believe you put up with that!” Rusty complains as soon as he sees his foster mother’s name pop up on the caller ID. “There are like… four and a half _million_ people in Los Angeles and she’s the one you picked? You looked at _Brenda_ and thought ‘this is her. This is the one I can’t live without’?”

Sharon laughs. “I sure did,” she confirms, ignoring his sarcasm. She actually finds Brenda’s juvenile antics rather cute. “It’s just saliva, Rusty, you’re not going to get girl germs.”

“That’s easy for you to say,” Rusty complains, pacing around the kitchen. “You’re used to sharing her germs.” He pulls a face, trying not to think of his foster mother and her girlfriend kissing. Gross.

“I am,” Sharon confirms. “Rusty, you and Brenda obviously have some issues,” she tells him. “I’ve asked you what’s wrong and you won’t tell me. If you don’t want to talk about it, then I’m perfectly happy for the two of you to keep going with this little back and forth to work out your frustrations. If Brenda played a prank on you and it makes you feel better about the situation then pay her back. Just keep it harmless, okay?”

“Wait. You’re giving me _permission_ to play pranks on Brenda?” Rusty asks in disbelief. This doesn’t seem like Sharon. Surely it’s a trap.  

“ _Harmless_ pranks,” Sharon emphasises. “Don’t hurt her or her feelings, okay?”

“This is a trick, right?” Rusty asks skeptically.

“No trick,” Sharon assures him. 

“Okay,” Rusty agrees. It’s on.

*****

“Morning Sharon,” the teenager greets her chirpily the next morning as she comes out of the bathroom. “Nice dress. Is that Armani?”

Sharon hesitates. Rusty’s mood is far too upbeat for this hour of the morning, and she’s instantly suspicious- not to mention the fact that he has never shown any interest in her wardrobe in the past, eschewing that particular gay stereotype. “Good morning, Rusty,” she replies slowly, narrowing her eyes slightly at him. “No, it’s…” she reaches up and tries to read the label on the back, giving up when she can’t get a good angle. “It’s nothing fancy, it’s just something I picked up on sale.”

“Well, either way you look great,” Rusty tells her, planting a cheek on Sharon’s cheek, much to his foster mother’s surprise.

“…Thank you,” Sharon replies, clearly taken aback.

“D’you think Brenda would mind if I use the bathroom next?”

“I doubt it,” Sharon tells him, watching as he steps past her, quickly closing and locking the bathroom door behind him. _’Oh, What are you up to?’_ Sharon wonders as she walks back to the bedroom.

“Mmm... Look at you!” Brenda greets her, laying her own skirt out on the bed. “Where’d you get that dress?”

Sharon looks puzzled as she takes her shoes out of the closet. “The sale rack at Nordstrom.”  

“It’s very… flattering,” she grins, waggling her eyebrows.

“I’m glad you like it,” Sharon tells her as she slips her shoes on. “Rusty’s in the bathroom. It might be worth being on your guard, I think he’s up to something big.”  

“Oh… I’m not sure if I should be scared or excited.”

  “Excited?” Sharon asks, confused.

  Brenda grins. “If he plays a prank on me I get to retaliate- Raydor’s Rules.”

The older woman rolls her eyes, doing a poor job of hiding her amusement. “What have I started?”

“Just think yourself lucky it’s not you on the receiving end of any of this.”  

“It’s like living with two children.”

“To be fair, you knew I was juvenile before we moved in together.” Brenda is particularly good at pouting, sulking, and making pleading puppy dog eyes when she’s trying to get her way, not to mention her fondness of chocolate milk and children’s cereal. “In any case, it was your idea to let me pull pranks on him and it’s working. I do feel better and Rusty’s not bein’ mean anymore.”  

Sharon kisses Brenda gently. “I’m glad. I don’t want you to be unhappy.”

“Shower’s free!” Rusty calls out. 

“If there’s somethin’ creepy crawly in there you’re saving me from it,” Brenda tells her girlfriend.

“Brenda, you’ve spent most of your adult life dealing with dead bodies, I’m sure you can handle whatever it is.”  

“I don’t do bugs and I don’t do lizards,” the blonde declares matter-of-factly. “Plus, he’s _your_ son.”

“Yes, he is,” Sharon replies, the pride evident on her face.

“I love how much you love your kids,” Brenda tells her, kissing Sharon on the cheek. She takes a fortifying breath then looks in the direction of the bathroom. “Okay, I’m going in.”

Sharon shakes her head a little and smirks, playing along. “Back up is standing by, Chief.”

Brenda nods once and strides out of the bedroom, up the hall and into the bathroom, looking around carefully. Everything appears to be in order. She closes the door and starts to undress, straightening up when she hears a knock on the door.

“All clear?” Sharon asks. 

“Clear,” Brenda confirms. “Tell back up they can stand down.”

“Roger that, Chief,” Sharon says before joining Rusty in the kitchen for breakfast. “Sleep well?”  

Rusty nods and sets Sharon’s omelette down in front of her at the table. “Yeah. Brenda in the shower?”

“She is,” Sharon confirms slowly. “I know you’ve done something, Rusty, just please tell me whatever it is isn’t going to hurt her hair.”  

“Not _hurt_ it.”

  “Rusty, I really, _really_ like Brenda’s hair, and so does she.”

  “I swear, it’s fine,” he assures her. “Seriously.”

Sharon nods, taking his word for it as she picks up her knife and fork and starts to eat. She knows Rusty wouldn’t really do anything bad to Brenda.

Rusty joins Sharon at the table. “I put her shampoo in her conditioner bottle and her conditioner in her shampoo bottle,” he tells her, sensing she’s still feeling a little uneasy about it all.

“That’s what’s got you in such a good mood?” Sharon asks skeptically. It’s a mild inconvenience, but hardly a brilliant prank. It won’t take Brenda more than a moment to work out what’s happened and just switch bottles.

Rusty shrugs with a knowing smile. “Mayyybe.”

“I’m late! I’m late!” Brenda announces hurriedly as she rushes into the kitchen a little while later. She grabs her lunch from the fridge. "Bye Rusty," she says as she makes her way over to the table, turning her attention to Sharon then and quickly kissing her goodbye. “Love you, see you tonight.”

“Love you too,” Sharon replies, sniffing quietly then looking at Brenda. “Brenda, honey-“

“I gotta go. Call me in the car?” she requests as she steals a piece of Sharon’s toast and rushes out the door.

Rusty smirks and drains the rest of the unsalted juice from his glass.

“Rusty, what did you do? She smells like chicken soup.”

“Stuck a bouillon cube in the shower head,” he says triumphantly.

“Rusty!” Sharon isn’t sure whether to laugh or chastise him.

The teenager breaks out into a grin. “Eau de Schnitzel.”

Sharon rolls her eyes. She’ll call Brenda and let her know once she's had a minute to get into the car and on the road- the smell isn’t too strong and it’s nothing a little spritz of perfume won’t cover. She picks up her knife and fork and is about to continue her breakfast when her phone rings.

Rusty grabs the phone off the kitchen counter and hands it to Sharon. “Captain Raydor… Yes? Yes, Lieutenant. No, I’ll leave right away,” she assures him before hanging up. 

“Got a case?” Rusty asks, polishing off the last of his breakfast.

Sharon nods. “Thank you for breakfast. Sorry I won’t get to finish it.”

“S’okay,” Rusty tells her. “See you tonight.”

*****

After work that evening Brenda steps into the kitchen hesitantly while Sharon is cooking dinner. “Hey.”  

“Hi,” Sharon beams. “How was your day? Can I have a kiss?”

  Brenda hesitates and Sharon tries not to look hurt. “Can I ask you something?” the blonde asks tentatively. 

“Of course.”

  “And you’ll be honest with me? I promise I won’t be upset, I just wanna know the truth.”

Sharon nods, setting the wooden spoon down and giving her girlfriend her full attention. “Brenda, you’re making me nervous,” she admits. “What’s going on?”

Brenda looks down self-consciously and the brunette finds herself holding her breath while she waits for her to speak. “Do I… smell?” she asks quietly, clearly a little upset. “People were sniffin’ and pulling funny faces around me all day and I just-“

“Oh, Brenda!” Sharon exclaims softly, crossing the kitchen quickly and wrapping her girlfriend up in a comforting hug. “No, honey, you don’t,” she assures her. “Rusty put a bouillon cube in the shower head, they could probably smell chicken.”

“Chicken!?” Brenda exclaims. Part of her is relieved, but she’s also cranky. “You let me walk around all day smelling like KFC?”

“I got called in and I forgot to call you in the car and let you know,” Sharon says apologetically. She looks at Brenda and smiles lamely, hoping to lighten the mood. “If it makes you feel any better I’ve always thought you were finger lickin’ good.”

Brenda’s jaw drops slightly and she swats Sharon’s arm, not hard enough to really hurt. “Sharon Raydor, that is not funny!”

“Ow!” Sharon pouts, rubbing her arm where Brenda hit her. “Come on, it was a _little_ funny… Crass, but funny.” 

Brenda glares at her. 

“Apparently we’re not joking about this yet,” Sharon acknowledges. “I’ll fix the shower for you and you can go and freshen up, then I promise I’ll make it up to you.”

“I’m so mad at you right now.”  

“I know… I did try to tell you before you rushed off.”

Brenda pouts and trudges over to get herself a glass of wine. “You better believe I’m going to remember this next time you want fingerin’ or lickin’,” she grumbles.

“I really am sorry,” Sharon tells her sincerely before kissing Brenda. “I’ll do the shower for you now, then maybe after dinner we can have an early night and I’ll show you just how sorry I am,” she offers, rubbing her girlfriend’s arm comfortingly.

Brenda thinks about it briefly then nods. She’s confident that Sharon’s apology will be more than worth a few odd looks at work. She kisses Sharon quickly then smiles. Rusty- 0. The Colonel- 1.

****

“Brenda!” Sharon exclaims as the blonde comes through the front door with multiple heavy-looking bags dangling from each hand. “Here, let me help,” She offers, hurrying over to take some of the load from her. “What’s all this? What are you going to do with this much tinfoil?”

“Revenge,” Brenda states simply, setting the bags down with a sigh of relief.

“Should I ask?”

“Am I allowed to go in Rusty’s room?”

“I… Well, yes, but -”  

“That’s all I wanted to know. Don’t worry, I won’t go snoopin’. Plain sight only, just like not having a warrant.”

“…Alright.”

“Are Rusty and Kevin gonna call when they get to the camp ground?” Brenda asks as she starts unloading tinfoil and piling it on the counter.  

“Mike is,” Sharon confirms.  

“And they’ll be back Sunday night?”  

“Mhmm… We’ve got the whole place to ourselves, and all afternoon I’ve been thinking up fun ways to take advantage of it.”

“Can’t. Sorry, Captain,” Brenda tells her. “Work to do.”

“You’d rather play a prank on Rusty than have sex with me?” Sharon asks in disbelief.

“No,” Brenda replies. “But I’ve been waiting three weeks to get my revenge for that stupid bouillon thing and he’s only away this weekend.”

“Brenda,” Sharon starts calmly. “He’s only away _this_ weekend,” she emphasises. “Now, we can enjoy the privacy together or you can play with your tinfoil while I play… alone.”

  The blonde pauses with a roll of tinfoil midair- point it at Sharon accusingly. “You were going to say play with yourself,” she grins.  

“Before I realised how that would sound.”

“If you’re gonna do that can I watch?” Brenda asks cheekily, expecting Sharon to roll her eyes and walk off.

Sharon holds Brenda’s gaze for a few seconds, resisting the urge to squirm despite the slight blush on her cheeks. She refuses to let the blonde see she has made her uncomfortable, pulling her shoulders back and tilting her chin up confidently instead. “I’d be disappointed if you didn’t.”

Brenda’s eyes widen in surprise. She looks at Sharon for just a second to confirm she’s not joking before taking her decisively by the hand and leading her into the bedroom. Tinfoil can wait.

*****

“I’m home!” Rusty calls out on Sunday afternoon. “You better not be doing anything that’s going to make me need another session with Dr. Joe!”

Brenda rolls her eyes. “Sharon’s at work. How was your trip?”

“Eugh,” Rusty complains as he drops his bag. “I used to think I’d missed out because my mother never took me camping when I was a kid. Now I realise her being a crappy parent might not have been all bad.”  

Brenda takes her glasses off and sets her book down. “What was so terrible about it?”

“There were mosquitos everywhere, the tent collapsed on me on Friday night and I haven’t had a shower since Thursday.”

“I can smell that last bit,” Brenda tells him. “I’m sorry you didn’t have a great time, though,” she says sincerely. “How about something good for dinner? I could order us some pizza.”

Rusty nods, accepting the offer as the olive branch it is. “Thanks… I’m gonna go get cleaned up.”

Brenda nods and heads into the kitchen to get the pizza menu.

“Brenda! What the hell?!” Rusty exclaims from his bedroom. 

The blonde grins. Knowing what a miserable weekend he’s had almost makes her feel bad. _Almost._

Rusty comes storming back up the hall. “Literally everything in my bedroom is wrapped in tinfoil!” he tells her accusingly.

“Not everything,” Brenda assures him, her pride evident. “I didn’t open any of your cupboards or drawers.”

“I can’t believe you went in my room without asking!”

“I couldn’t exactly ask, could I?” Brenda challenges him. “In any case, Sharon said it was alright.” Oops. She hadn’t meant to drag Sharon into this.

“Sharon was in on this?!” Rusty asks incredulously. “She’s meant to be helping _me_ get at _you_ , not the other way ‘round!”

“Whaddya mean helping you get at me?”  

“Helping me prank you,” Rusty tells her.

“Nuh uh, she’s helping _me_ prank _you_.”

They both stop and stare at each other, realising at the same time that they’ve each been played. Sharon has been sitting back this whole time, watching it all unfold and laughing.

“Not cool,” Rusty decides.

Brenda nods her agreement. “You go have your shower,” she tells him. “I’ll order dinner then we can talk about how to deal with Sharon while I help you unwrap your room, okay?”

“Deal,” Rusty decides as he watches Brenda pick up the phone and start to dial. 

After dinner Brenda finds herself in Rusty’s room for the second time that weekend, helping him start to remove tinfoil from his furniture, cushions, curtains and anything else that wasn’t tucked into a drawer or a cupboard.

“Can I ask you a question?” Brenda asks as she balls up some foil and tosses it into the tinfoil-covered trashcan.

“Sure,” Rusty agrees with a shrug, pulling the foil down off his curtain and rolling his eyes when he sees Brenda has covered the curtain rod and rings, too. He climbs up on his desk so he can reach to start unwrapping them. How long had Brenda spent doing this?

“I know you weren’t real happy about me moving in…”

Rusty keeps his mouth shut. She hasn’t actually asked a question yet.

“You know I’d never try to come between you and Sharon.”

Rusty shrugs as he picks at the tinfoil around the hardware for the curtains. He’s not sure he does. 

“Is that why you treated me like you did?”

Rusty sighs as he drops a ball of foil and keeps going. “I don’t have a great history when it comes to parental figures getting new partners,” he points out.

Brenda nods a little. She knows. “Sharon tried talkin’ to you about it. Why didn’t you say something?” she asks as she unwraps the last of his books. When she did this she hadn't anticipated having to unwrap it, too. She’s glad she took pictures.

“Because I didn’t want to seem ungrateful,” Rusty admits, hopping down off his desk and looking at Brenda. “Sharon took me in when I was homeless. She fed me and sent me to a good school. You saved me from a serial killer.”

“To be fair he was tryin’ to kill me too, so it wasn’t entirely selfless,” Brenda points out with a little smile, tilting her head to the side.

“I still would’ve felt bad,” Rusty admits. “I like it here, I don’t want to go to another foster home or end up living on the street again.”

“Sharon and I would never let that happen to you,” Brenda tells him, ensuring she makes eye contact with the teenager. “I know you aren’t all that fond of me right now, but I wouldn’t let anything bad happen to you. I care about you, Rusty.”

Rusty looks at the ground, attempting to hide a slight blush as he toes the carpet awkwardly.

“You can be as mean to me as you like,” Brenda tells him, not discouraged by the fact he’s clearly uncomfortable right now. “I’m not going anywhere, Rusty, and neither are you. Sharon loves us both, and this is our home.”

Rusty shoves his hands deeply into his pockets and shrugs, and Brenda thinks she’s probably made him uncomfortable enough. She’s made her point. “Now,” she tells him, clapping her hands together quietly. “Speaking of Sharon, I do believe we have revenge to plot.”

Rusty perks up a little, lifting his head and smiling at Brenda. At the end of the day he does know that the blonde isn’t like his mother’s boyfriends. He believes what she’s told him; she isn’t there to squeeze him out of Sharon's life or her home, and he isn’t going to end up back on the street. When push comes to shove, his friendly adversary of the past few weeks is really his ally, and with the two of them working together one thing is absolutely certain; revenge is going to be sweet.


End file.
